phil@RoganStreet.com

1. Story and Production Notes

Premise

Twenty years after saving the galaxy from Darth Vader and the Evil Empire, the heroic Star Wars gang have become the embodiment of the cast of Seinfeld. Han Solo is Jerry Seinfeld, Luke is George Castanza, Chewbacca the Wookie is Kramer, and of course, Princess Leia is Elaine Bennis. The great rebellion from the Empire has left the group without anything to do. They are bored, and existing as individuals with no clear direction or purpose, just like the cast of Seinfeld. The entire film takes place on one setÖHan Soloís (Jerryís) Apartment. It is a Start Wars version of the apartment used on the popular series, with a few Star Wars-esc improvements. The Buzzer to let people in is a small CRT when it is used. The door slides in and out from the (stage) left of the door jam, the furniture is in an identical placement, and the TV doubles as the phone in this scene. All characters are dressed in an updated, but familiar Start Wars attire from the first movie of the trilogy. Princess Leia gets the original hair-do, and Luke is wearing the original white Judo outfit. The film opens with an amalgamation of the Seinfeld and Star Wars theme music, and Seinfeld ñstyle credits rolling over the actionÖ

Characters

It is extremely important that you read this script with the following characteristics and motivations in mind. While this is a Start Wars parody, the Seinfeld show is also being parodied here, and all characters have to appear as close to the original Seinfeld cast as possible. Luke: (George Castanza) Luke is now twenty years older, and his physical appearance has changed to that of George Castanza. Stocky, short, balding and wearing glasses. He is still wearing his Judo outfit from his glory days. After the rebellion, things went bad for him, as he now lives with relatives back on Tatooine. He is frustrated and pathetic, with his only thread of dignity being his light saber, that he carries everywhereÖeven in peace time. The Force has become a nuisance to him nowÖits always there. Han Solo: (Jerry Seinfeld) Han appears to not have aged at all. He is fit and in control of his life. He is the shred of sanity in the cast of insane characters, and has a high tolerance for the Wookieís antics. Leia: (Elaine Bennis) Leia is dressed in the classic First episode garb, complete with the hair buns. She is annoyed at the constant responsibilities of being princess. Chewbacca (the Wookie): (Cosmo Kramer) The Wookie is entirely a physical actor. He has no lines. (maybe a grunt or two). He stumbles around like Kramer. He could wear the Kramer shirt and have a little Kramer hair style on the top of his head. He has little mannerisms like a point and wink, or hand gestures similar to the Kramer character. Throughout the entire scene, he is not listening nor Is he interested in the dialog going on around him. He goes right to the fridge, drinks milk out of the carton, and starts making himself a sandwich. His movements are elaborate and off-balance at all times. His entrance and exit in the scene should be dramatic, with a clumsy sense of style. He lives across the hall from Han Solo.

Production Notes:

There are two asynchronous parts of this scene. The dialog between Leia, Han Solo, and Luke, and the Wookieís physical slapstick happening in the background. When the Wookieís antics build to a climax, only then does the cast react to his presence. Heís like a house petÖyou know heís there, but you donít expect him to understand the conversation. When the TV is used as a phone, the actors (Lukeís relatives with whom he lives) are the Seinfeld Cast equivalent of the Castanza family. They are always talking over each other at the top of their lungs. You never see the Castanzas, as you only see the back of the TV. Images should be portrayed with ambient lights as if there is an image on the screen. When the light saber is in the scene, it should buzz and glow as in the original series. When it hits a surface, sparks and smoke erupt everywhere. It has to appear completely out of control during the ëdropping" sequence.

 

2. Script